Time to start back up

I wrote a pitiful 200 words or so today.  I'm going to do some more when I get back home hopefully.  I stopped writing and updating obviously.  I've been sort of frozen since I wrote a scene that should have been pretty good but ended up looking really shoddy.  I'm not going to work on it, right now I need to work on some fever dreams.  Obviously I failed to make the 50,000 but I'm going to keep going and update this blog as I go.  You're obviously under no obligation to keep reading but I'm going to keep updating this thing anyway.  It gives me some accountability.

Still in a slump

Got 600 words today which I'm not excited about.  Procrastination has been a huge factor these last few days, I need to bust out of this malaise.  Very unhappy with myself right now.

Word Count: 13,875 (kind of depressed recently tbqh)

Edit: It snowed down here and I work outside.  I've been exhausted for the past couple days so I haven't been writing like I should... black Friday isn't going to help matters *sigh*.

Very blah.

I made a post yesterday but it didn't go through.  Anyway I was really tired today and didn't get much done.  400 words in two days, eww.  Procrastination is killing me.  Gah... disgusted with my performance... hope to make up some ground tomorrow.

Word Count: 13,464

Some Progress

I got about 1000 words out today.  Proud of that.  These are even words I'm proud of.  They're not perfect but they are a good framework.  New excerpt out.  Go read about Gorgax some more.

This is really what my novel is about.  Nobody is the villain of their own story.  It starts out as a typical save mankind type of story but its really more about the people who surround that quest.  Gorgax doesn't believe what he is doing is wrong.  Neither does Auralia.  Who of them is 'right'?  There's also a fourth character who I'm working on introducing later in that encounter right there.  He's a troll.  Each of these four characters is doing what is right in their own minds and so the point of my story is really that ambiguity as the reader tries to decide who he/she thinks is right.

Word count: 13,016

I do worry about tomorrow because I'm heading towards more ill defined territory but I'm hoping I can just fight through that.  We'll see.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I think I'm a bit depressed about not writing as well as I would like.  It's making me not want to write.  I didn't write yesterday because I just fooled around and today I managed a mere 300 some words or so.  I really want to do better tomorrow.  I just need to apply myself and not care so much about the quality of the work.  That is my big stumbling block.  If I could just type... something.  I'd have more than I do.  Then I could go back and tear it apart and rework it and have something better.  This is a useful vent though.  I'm very disappointed in myself.  I am approaching a scene that is actually kind of interesting... it will be another excerpt.  I'm really hoping to finish it up and polish it tomorrow so I can post another excerpt (my current one has a bunch of problems with pronouns and just reading it I can see improvements I want to make... but I'll hold off).  I will make 25,000 words by the end of NaNoWriMo.  That is my new goal...  At this pace I won't make it but... if I really throw myself into it I can do it.

Word Count: 12,057

Read a bit and then surfed the net

Still having procrastination issues.  Did 600 some words again tonight.  Disappointment.  I don't know I've hit kind of a daze or a funk or something.  I need to get out of it.  I don't have an excerpt because nothing really makes sense because I didn't get far enough.  Here's hoping for tomorrow night.  I'm going to keep putting my nose to the grindstone until this gets easier.  The stuff I've written isn't great but it's something.  Need to get out of this writing funk.

Word Count: 11,719

Lots of procrastination tonight

But I still managed 600 some odd words, somehow.  They're not even all that great.  I'm kind of 'writing blind' as it were.  I have all these ideas for great scenes in my head and they really inspire me to make them good, like the Gorgax encounter.  But all the stuff in between, the traveling and the trials.  All that stuff I just am terrible at writing.  I procrastinated to a ridiculous extent tonight, I'm very disappointed in myself.  I'm capable of better, but when I contemplate writing those sections I really don't know how to write, the fear kind of sinks into me. I have words down and stuff happens but it's not writing I can be proud of.  I finished up the Gorgax encounter and that's about all I can really say.

I still haven't determined if I'm going to go a bit further and write until I get to a scene that isn't very far off.  A campfire scene that I have definite inspiration for or if I'm going to grind out those fever dreams.  I think I'm probably going to get to that campfire scene I see so clearly.  No excerpt today, because my stuff is terrible.  I'm not going to fix it right now because I don't care enough about it.  I really hope tomorrow I can buckle down and get some words out.  We'll see.

I also wanted to mention that I agree with you Josi (previous comment).  I will have more words than I had when I started.  Which is really the point of my NaNoWriMo right now.  It gave me a kick in the pants to get me started and now it's up to me to really keep writing the words, trying to make the best novel I can.  I plan to keep going on this writing blog for as long as it takes, and I just hope I keep that motivation all the way through. 

Word Count: 11,129